Bummer and a Half

Kind of down today...been kind of down for a couple of days. I'll get over it. The point is, I had a learning experience that knocked me off MY personal pedestal. :)

Did not do so well on that return BlogTalkRadio show the other day. This is hard to write about because it exposes something vulnerable and not perfect about me, lol...yeah, back to the learning experience that knocked me on my ass.

I totally had brain freeze when I had the opportunity to talk with Dannion Brinkley. It was like one of those awkward scenes you see in movies where the character suddenly has cameras, lights and microphones in her face and cannot find her voice. Yeah, that was me.

Oh, the horror and the embarrassment :-/ . And, how annoying to not be able to think on my feet! I should have written stuff down, of course, you say. I'm agreeing, yet I wanted to feel fresh and go with the conversation that was happening on the air.

It just did not go well for me. But, it was more than 'not thinking well' or 'forgetting' what I wanted to say. Dannion is a dynamic person with a strong energy and that totally blew me away. It was difficult for me to stand separate from his energy and to keep from absorbing it. So, I kind of had a meltdown and quietly melted away.

I am growing as a sensitive--an empath--and energy from other people can knock me off my feet. It used to happen all the time. Now, not so much, but when it does I'm out of balance for a few days.

Isn't that weird? I know it's real because I'm aware of it happening, yet I still don't have the wherewithall to know how to step out of the way. I've read Judith Orloff's books about energy and intuition and they are very helpful.

The DIY process of learning energy dynamics, energy psychology, EFT and meridians/chakras is like bumping around in the dark. All I know is that the mind/body connection is something to pay attention to. We learn a lot more about ourselves when we pay attention to how we feel with all our senses and our emotions.

Just got to keep on keepin' on, I guess.

I'm just sitting here with my cup of tea and felt like talkwriting. I'm not writing a blog (for now) to sell anything, to share earth shattering content or to build a ginormous list. Nah.

After 30 years I left my job at an airline where I felt like a cog in a wheel. Groundhog day. Again and again. Until I felt like I was going to puke. Literally.

I just had to leave. Fortunately, a buyout was offered, not really a very large amount of money considering the blood, sweat, and tears that I poured in over more years than I want to admit. I grew up working at ______ Airlines. Granted, it took me a longer time than most ;) since I'm a babystepper kind of person.

I also don't happen to age like most...there's always an upside somewhere in the mix. I took the buyout thinking that I would land on my feet and create something new--a job, perhaps? No. I'm having a hard time directing myself to work for another company, after all, I've already done that quite successfully. Remember, 30 years???

This durn economic tummy ache has been causing quite a stir. I've been doing my best to focus my attention to matters positive and flowing with abundance. This is definitely not the time for scarcity thinking!!! So, my thoughts have turned to focus on what I can create. What can I create?

I'm thinking this is a fertile time for those people who are right brain thinkers (a la Daniel Pink), those who make a beat to their own music, or vice versa. Life doesn't have to be boring and linear (one step after the other in the same direction). I may be a babystepper, but I take my steps where they lead me.

Intuition is the key to finding one's direction in life. And, the more you trust your own path, synchronicity begins to happen. Not really, it already happens, we just don't notice it when we force our own way onto the path.

I really don't have much else to say. I'm excited about life. I'm on the path. There are ups and downs. Interestingly, after the downs come the ups---and I don't mean that in a bipolar sort of way. Energy works like that. I'm working on keeping my energy in the ups. In the vortex, per Abraham (Esther and Jerry Hicks).

It's been around 6 months that I have been semi-retired. What a feeling! Now I am feeling the urge to move forward. This is the interesting part because there are no rules, no directions, no demands. How would I like to proceed? That is the question. :)

Earthquake

We just had an aftershock a few minutes ago, a 4.1, per the seismologist on the news. I'm not too happy about the ground shaking under my feet. In fact, it wasn't the ground under my feet, since I live upstairs on the second floor.

The earthquake on Sunday night was definitely worse. I heard all my kitchenware tinking and clanking, things falling, stomach churning.

I know, I live in the big CA so I should be used to earthquakes. Well, I'm NOT! :) Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt (at least I don't think so).

Leroy lived under the bed for hours...until he was hungry.

Breaking Through

Ever have one of those days? When things go beyond your expectations and you get a glimpse of the life you are aspiring to live? (Going to live is much better)

Today started just like any day. My day starts when I want it to, since I'm not working for corporate America anymore. I think my eyes opened somewhere around 8:45am :0) Sigh!

I had a short to do list: to run some errands in and out of the house and to check up on my emails, tweets, blogs and to listen to a BlogTalkRadio show in the afternoon. Since yesterday went well, having accomplished all I wanted to, I figured today would go about the same.

I was reading something on the computer when the phone rang. I heard from the answering machine that it was a call sent through my listing as a life coach on an online advice service.

It ended up being my first call with my first client! Specifically, my first PAYING client, lol. (I've already lived through years of unpaid internship) I have finally crossed through the door. Here's one income stream that I've been working on for quite some time and I can actually make use of my degree.

I made a little dent in my entrepreneurial progress! After the call I took a little time to consider my next move in a different business I am in the middle of developing. I'm still just not ready to talk about it.

I will tell you though, it has been quite a quantum jump for me to change my life completely from the inside out. I've been percolating for many, many moons on what I can do that would be FUN, that would HELP others, bring together COMMUNITY--basically help people to connect while promoting what they do.

That's enough for now. The big thing that happened today, happened after my coaching call.

I was listening to Georgiann Kiricoples' radio show, Breaking Through, on BlogTalkRadio. She had as her guest, Dannion Brinkley, the author of Saved by the Light and Secrets of the Light.

It occurred to me to call in so that I could ask questions about my mother, who passed away almost 15 years ago. I called in expecting to be placed in a queue and to 'maybe' be selected to speak with Dannion on the air.

Thing is, I was selected almost immediately, as I was stuffing my mouth full of taco chips. Timing was never my forte, to be sure. Surprised and bewildered, I was on the air--crunch, crunch!

Not what I was expecting, exactly. I've been wanting to explore what it would be like to get 'out there' and talk to an audience since I'm more of a dip-your-toe-in-the-water-and-see-how-it-feels type person. It was definitely a catalystic (word doesn't really exist) experience!

Georgiann is an amazing and poised radio host. She's never without words, always cordial and interesting to listen to. (Check out her radio show on www.georgiann.com.)

As we both talked about our experiences with loss and death it became clear that Dannion was not going to make it due to other obligations. I figured that it would be a good time to say goodbye and hang up, but, somehow Georgiann kept me conversation.

Very good experience for me...to see how a professional works a show when things don't go exactly as expected. While I was feeling tongue tied and entirely comfortable, Georgiann kept the momentum going discussing Dannion's work with death and dying and his website www.TheTwilightBrigade.com.

It really felt like a phone call...because that's what it is, but, I knew that it was being aired to those listening in on the internet radio show. Once I got that thought out of my mind, it wasn't so bad. The important thing I noted was the necessity for a backup plan and extra content to talk about.

At the end of the show Georgiann was so kind to offer me Dannion's latest autographed book, Secrets of the Light. How cool was that? I liked that I accomplished something without actually planning it out. The opportunity materialized as though it was meant to be. So, I guess I sort of did my own kind of breaking through.

Cat Bite, Birthday and *Disneyland*

It's now 16 days after the infamous cat bite and my thumb is practically healed through. I have a very short nail since I cut it down, but there's not much nail damage remaining.

I was on a generic of Augmentin for 7 days after the IV meds. Now there's just a bit of tenderness, especially when using pressure--mainly from trying to pop a pill out of the plastic and foil type packaging. Yay! It's over :)

I went to the happiest place on earth on my birthday!!! Disneyland was FUN! It always is, especially when you haven't been there for awhile. However, it was CROWDED and it was on a MONDAY in May, before school is technically over.

1 hour waits in lines, even the line to get IN the park. Yeah, it was still fun, but I'm not much into lines and long term gratification at amusement parks. But, I did get in F.Re.E since it was my birthday...check it out online. You need to sign up in advance and print out the certificate to show them at the entrance.

And, believe me, it helps to cut the cost if you are going with others. Adult entrance is $69.00 and children up to 10 are $59.00 each. Since I went with a friend we divvied the one ticket so we both paid around $35.00...not bad...and California residents get a two-fer, which means you can go back within 30days to see California Adventure, a newer attraction that Disney added to their park. I guess it's not that new anymore, but it is for me. I'm looking forward to it!

So, I'll be b-a-a-ck for a second round in a couple of weeks. One more thing...the economy can't really be that bad since Disneyland was full of people, mostly families in fact...and it isn't even summer yet. Perhaps it was everyone's birthday? ;-D

Partnerships Past

The impending partnership between Chrysler and Fiat brought me back to the 80's when AMC merged with Renault, creating the Renault Alliance car. It seemed like a good thing at the time. It was 1983. I was in my 20's.

All I know is that I wanted that car! I really wanted the convertible, but, had to settle for the sedan version. My car looked just like the one on the left...even the cinnamon color.

I thought it was beyond cool. I wouldn't be caught dead in it today. However, my taste in cars, as well as in men had a lot of growing up to do. Looking back, I made two flawed choices: the boyfriend and the car.

Both are history. I bought the car because of the boyfriend. I no longer have either. Let me tell you about the car.

The first thing I should have taken seriously was the steering wheel. It was always crooked so if I were to straighten it out while driving I'd end up in the next lane. No big deal, I thought.

I remember that it died on me on the way home from work one night, about 2 in the morning. I was driving on La Cienega through Ladera Heights, you know, where it's dark and desolate and kind of creepy. No cell phones, at least I didn't have one at the time. That's when you had to wait for someone to stop and hopefully call a tow-truck for you.

Yeah, the details are vague, but I do remember a few stoppers by and eventually getting the help I needed. There were other events, but I really don't remember much else save for the last day I drove my car to work.

That was the day it caught on fire for no apparent reason. I was on my way to work, driving on the 405 North towards the La Cienega off ramp when I saw tendrils of smoke rising from the hood of my car. I thought I even saw a lick of flame coming through the seam where the hood meets the fender.

My first thought was that I was imagining things, but then I really saw fire. I pulled over fast and jumped out of my car...grabbing purse, airline i.d....(crazy me) and ran like hell. Poof. My car became a little inferno on the side of the freeway.

You know how it is, driving by the poor soul who is pulling their hair watching their car torch into a beautiful blazing bonfire. That was me.

All I know is that there are some very good Samaritans on our highways. I received all kinds of help, again, without a cell phone or any other technological gadget save for the roadside phone box. Humanity can be a beautiful experience, just watch out what car you buy.

I hated that car. The Renault Alliance was supposed to be a merger of European design and American ingenuity. Poor design made it self destruct.

About 6 months after my car spontaneously combusted I received a recall letter stating there was a risk of fire due to faulty electrical issues. Yeah, well, good riddance.

Yes It's Been Awhile...

I've been blog-stalled. First I didn't feel like writing and that went on for a couple of weeks. I then became distracted by all things other than writing and finally, everything came to a screeching halt when my cat chomped on my thumb. I bet most people have no idea of the consequences of what appears to be a mere cat bite.

I had absolutely no clue what was about to happen last Monday night. I was getting ready to end my day with a cup of tea and a few minutes of Castle when my cat, Leroy somehow convinced me to let him romp around outside for a bit. Even though a small voice inside told me "nooooo", I opened the screen door to the big wide world and Leroy took off. Poof--gone.

Usually he just lurks around my door and the upper landing where we live. That night, however, he felt the urge to charge downstairs straight to the bushes in the front yard. I ran after him intending to grab him up in one fell swoop.

However, my thumb and his mouth found each other in one perfect split second. I could hear the thumbnail splinter and break as I instinctively retracted my arm in shock. "You bit me!", was all I could say, looking at the blood dripping, noticing puncture wounds on both the nail and underneath. Ouch.

At that moment one of my neighbors walked past Leroy, who was sputtering and hissing, having poofed himself up like a gigundous furry porcupine. That was all it took to "scare" him upstairs to the door and back to his normal "mew, mew...let me in!!!" docile self.

I was tired so I cleaned up the wound and went to bed. Next day it looked pretty bad and I probably should have done something about it, but I waited until evening to decide. It was infected and nasty so I made an appointment to see my doctor next morning.

Do you realize that a cat bite requires intravenous antibiotics? I did not. Five consecutive days of IV treatment. Yep, I had lots of fun this week going back and forth to the doctor's office for my 30 minute drip.

So, unless you already know this, be most careful around open mouths, particularly cats' mouths. I did learn, however, that human bites are worse, second are cat bites and dog bites come in third. Just so you know.

One last thing. In all 15 years this is the first (and hopefully last) time that Leroy bit me. When indoors he is the epitome of gentleness and "usually" well behaved. He doesn't know this yet, but, Leroy won't be doing any romping around outdoors anymore.

PS: I want to stress that a cat bite is very serious. Cats have some nasty bacteria in their mouths (well, consider where they clean themselves) and the bacteria is very deadly to humans if untreated. I probably could have avoided the heavy IV stuff had I sought medical treatment immediately, or at least the next day. I was informed that there is about a 48 hour window to get medical help without further complications. Even now after 5 days my thumb is still sore and partially infected. I'll probably need a second round of antibiotics when I see my doctor tomorrow. Act fast, especially with children. The nurses at the infusion center said that they treat cat bites "a lot".